I'm really into asian looking animals
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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