I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
