i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
