Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
