drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
