Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
