My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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