he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Too much gin, very little bucket
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize