I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
