i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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