Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Drake has all the answers
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize