You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
