i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
