Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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