All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
