dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
