take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
