For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
