God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize