I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
