I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
