That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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