I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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