I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
