He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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