Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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