You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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