Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
