You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
