She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
