i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
