Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
