Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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