The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
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Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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