we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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