Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.

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(323): View more from California

I'm being pulled over???

(520): View more from Arizona

For what!?!?!

(323): View more from California

??? I'm in a cab!!!!!

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(708): View more from Illinois

Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame

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(+86): View more from China

Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party

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(815): View more from Illinois

at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Youre having a picnic

(773): View more from Illinois

Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.

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