Don't make out with my wife yet
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
