I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize