this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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