wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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