You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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