If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I love how my cats smell like pot.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
