reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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