somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
