I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize