It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
