So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
