he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
