We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
