he shaved USA in his pubs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize