You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
