My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
