what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize