The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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