you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
