I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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