Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
