I understand Curling. That high.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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