You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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