IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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