I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
